Part of me really wants to make my site a space more for me while the other part of me really wants to make my site more resourceful so more people can discover the small web and the demographic here can broaden. It’s tough because on one hand, I love what this movement stands for, I love the creativity of it and the freedom it brings, and I do love seeing other people’s creations. But on the other hand, I’m not a big fan of the overall demographic. I want connection, but I also don’t feel like I’m finding my people here and I’m just not aligning with the overall demographic. It sucks finding a space you love so much but not quite feeling like you fit.
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This is obviously a very niche movement, and I guess the reality is that not everybody wants to make their own website. People are comfortable on social media and despite big tech’s abuses over the years, for the most part people really just don’t care enough to change. The privacy abuses, data mining, advertising, censorship, etc. it’s not a deal breaker for people and most people would rather just stick with what they know. This leaves me in a place where I’m not really sure what to do with my site. On one hand I want my site to be helpful for new people entering the movement, but on the other hand I feel like I’m putting a lot of time and effort into something that’s not really going anywhere. But if I consider discontinuing, I think about how hard I’ve worked on my site and how much I truly do love it and how much of a passion project it is… but then again, I also want community but I just can’t find people I really connect with on here, and I think it’s majorly due to the fact I’m just not in alignment with the overall demographic.
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The efforts I have made to build connections have been mostly one-sided. I have neighbors I check in on and who check in on me every once in awhile, and that’s really nice, but I don’t really feel any sense of connection, and it’d be nice if it were easier to befriend people on here and find people to have real conversations with. I think Agora Road is the most comfortable I’ve felt on the Small Web so far. There seems to be a pretty diverse community on there and I’ve found more alignment there than most places. Everyone seems pretty chill and you can kind of just say what’s on your mind and people don’t care. No one’s getting crazy offended, trying to cancel or dox anyone over having an opinion, or jumping on small web anon forums like lolcow to gossip “omg! Did you see what so and so said?!” 🙄. It’s nice engaging on there but I guess I’m just looking for a friend. Not an acquaintance. It’s so hard to make friends nowadays, no one really wants to make an effort anymore with someone new, and now with how divided people are over every little thing it feels a lot harder, especially online. Offline, it’s so much easier I find to communicate with other people, but online, people are so tribalistic and have all these “DNI/Do Not Interact” lists, it’s wild. Holy hell the amount of DNI lists I’ve seen on people’s sites and small web social media profiles over the past year is ridiculous. 😆
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Anyways, bit of a rant today. I love the small web but I don’t love the dominant demographic of people here, if I’m totally honest. A lot of people here are really shallow, love toxic small web gossip, are really hateful and exclusive of anyone outside of their “tribe” and set a lot of double standards, and I’m just not on that vibe. But I love my website and I’ve put so much love and effort into it that I don’t really want to stop. And I love using this space to write what’s on my mind. I don’t ramble like this on social media, and it’s freeing to have a space that’s really mine to do this. I think for the next little while I’ll be thinking about the direction I want to take my website next. I need to get clear on what I really want this space to become, who I want it to be for, and what purpose it will serve exactly. I kind of want to make it more personal, maybe change up the look a bit. I don’t know exactly. I just need to sort my thoughts out for a bit.