There’s so much more I’d like to do on my site, but lately I just feel like I don’t have the time or energy to do much that I really want to do. Most of my days feel too busy or energy draining. Sunday my parents dog passed away, which was really emotional for all of us. Monday and Tuesday, I worked, which when I work, I feel like I can’t really get anything else done before because I don’t feel like I have time, and after work I’m usually lacking energy to start anything. Yesterday I had a day off and spent the day getting caught up on chores, then had a dr. appoitnment, then went to see my parents, and then spent the next hour looking for something that would help my foot pain. By the time I got home I was too tired to do anything else. Today I’m working. I’m also adjusting to a somewhat new sleeping schedule due to my husband’s sleep schedule and having to drive him to work most days. I guess I just feel like I’m caught in a weird place right now where I either don’t have the time or the energy to work on the things that make me feel really whole and fulfilled or like I’m progressing on something I care about and it makes me sad. Hopefully that will change soon. I just wish I had more time in my life. More time to rest and recouperate, more time to dedicate to things I care about, like working on this site, working on my coding course, working on my shops, etc. We are planning to move next fall into our first home. Really hoping that goes to plan and with that new chapter will also mean more time. We’ll be living in the countryside then, and I’m hoping I will be able to be a stay-at-home wife, take care of the home, slow down more, and hopefully start a family.
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I’ve been thinking a lot about next year and the things I want to accomplish. I want to make a new vision board, I want to start a regular gratitude journal practice, become more spiritual again, and just use the new year to set my life in a more positive direction. 2024 has been a really difficult year emotionally for myself and my family. There have been some positive things of course, but the most impactful things that have happened this year have been really negative. I know many people don’t like New Years resolutions, or doing vision boards, and think those general practices are a waste of time, but, I really love them. I see the New Year as a clean slate, a fresh start. I might not achieve all of my goals but I do find setting goals helps me. It gives me things to work towards, plan towards, it inspires me and makes me want to better myself. It’s just a really fresh kind of energy that I think is great for starting over, especially after a long or difficult year. It’s letting go of what was and welcoming in what can be and I love that collective tradition so much. The New Year really just helps me enter a fresh mindset, which I think is a bit more difficult to mentally step into when already late into the year’s cycle.
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Anyways, that’s where I’m currently at! I don’t really have time to do much else today, but, I am thankful for the pocket of time I get to write these posts. I love that I have this site and space to be able to express my thoughts and feelings. I like that while people can read them, no one can comment on them, which is why I’ll never post these kinds of things to social media. Sometimes it’s just nice to express yourself without other people’s input or advice. This blog is a very special place for me. <3